It may be cliché to talk about gratitude the week before Thanksgiving, but I like to think of it as the spirit of the season. And what a wonderful season it is!
Our society often trains us to want more - to feel unsatisfied with what we have or what we are. We are subconsciously taught to look at the grass on the other side as greener. In children, we sometimes see the effects of this conditioning, as young children become demanding and seem to expect everything handed to them on a platter. (Unfortunately we see it in adults too!)
Gratitude, or appreciation for your life as it is, helps to combat these pervasive attitudes. It is essential for actually enjoying life, and the people in it.
According to Harvard Medical School,
"psychology research shows that gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships."
It's not that happy people are grateful, it's that grateful people are happy!
So, what does it mean to be grateful?
Gratitude does not mean ignoring the hard parts of life. It is not a sugar coating that only touches the surface. Cultivating gratitude means choosing to focus on the things and the people that enrich your life. What makes you happy? Who cares about you unconditionally? What makes you a better person?
Appreciation softens us. It opens our heart and soothes our minds by connecting us to the people and the things that we so often take for granted. Gratitude can anchor us to the present moment; it can ground us amid turmoil and it can uplift us during tribulation. It is an antidote to pride and a respite from anxiety.
How do we practice gratitude?
Start by thinking about it. To gain all the wonderful benefits that gratitude offers, I encourage you to take time every day to reflect on what you're grateful for. Contemplate it while you're doing a chore, or during meditation. Start with the basics: your family, your friends, your pet. It's okay to be grateful for them often! But you can also branch out and think of specific things from that day that made a difference in your life.
Write it down. You could keep a gratitude journal, or a gratitude jar with slips of paper that you add to as you think of new things you're grateful for.
Express your gratitude to others. Start saying thank you to people more often. It doesn't have to be awkward! We often feel that the people around us know how we feel about them, but saying it out loud really makes a difference. The most effective expressions of gratitude include these three things: 1. Describe what the person did 2. Acknowledge the effort that the person put in 3. Describe how it benefitted you When we go in depth like this, the feelings tend to be much stronger for us, and the other person feels more recognized and validated.
I encourage you to try it out! Cultivating our own sense of gratitude brings so many benefits. We will be happier, we will be less stressed, we will be more respectful, we will enjoy our relationships more, and ultimately, we will become a better person.
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