I recently learned that January 17 is "National Ditch New Year's Resolution Day." When I looked it up, the recommended way to celebrate was "Ditch those resolutions, relax and stop feeling guilty about breaking them. After all, resolutions are meant to be broken." It is estimated that 80% of New Year's resolutions are abandoned.
Why? There are several reasons why resolutions fail: fear, impractical goals, lack of preparation, lack of accountability, external resistance, and lack of commitment.
Goals are important. They help us improve ourselves, discover new joys, and achieve our dreams. Our ability to do anything of these things relies on our capacity to make and keep commitments. If we shrug off our goals like they're no big deal, then we will never reach the heights to which we could soar.
New Year's resolutions have a special place in my life. For over ten years, I (and later, my family) have created a poster full of aspirations for the coming year. I have what I consider to be a pretty strong track record with accomplishing these goals. I use the following strategies that have helped me consistently achieve my goals:
Timeline. Every goal that I set has a definitive timeline. Setting indefinite goals sets me up for failure. If I want to work on something ongoing, then I set checkpoints. "On X date I will be at X point." For example, if your goal is to get a black belt, a "someday" will not provide you the necessary drive to work on the goal now. Instead, you could say, "I want to get my black belt in the next five years." Then, I would recommend setting an intermediary goal, such as "Earn my green belt this year." In this example, if you weren't sure what a good intermediary goal would be, you could consult your instructor.
Quantifiable. The ability to measure whether or not a goal has been reached is critical to success. Vague goals just don't work. For example: "Get better at punching" is almost worthless as a goal. How do you determine if your punches are "better" enough to check off the goal? Once you've decided your punches are "better" do you stop working on them? A far better goal is one you can measure, such as "Break a 12"x12" pine board with a punch." That requires the training to improve, and is also specific. You will know when that one is done!
Achievable. I absolutely encourage you to push yourself with your goals. However, there always needs to be a degree of realism when we set goals, if we are to have any hope of achieving them. I could set my goal to climb Mount Everest this year, but I have neither the means nor the preparation to actually achieve it within that timeline. If I wanted to eventually set that goal, I could set an intermediary goal this year, like climbing a challenging mountain closer to home.
Planned out. When are you going to work on this goal? Where are you going to work on it? What steps do you need to take? For each goal, create a detailed plan. Take the punching example again: you would practice in class, but that would probably not be enough, so you could set the goal to work on punches at home three days a week. To break a board, you need to be conditioned to prevent injury, so you could set the goal to work on your conditioning every time you watch TV. You could set the goal to break a smaller board six months before your deadline, then a slightly bigger board three months after that, leading up to the 12"x12" on time.
Support system. To have a better chance of success, you need people cheering you on. Find those in your life willing to lend a listening ear, a helping hand, or a kick in the pants when you need it. If there are people in your life who actively hold you back from your goals, you can avoid discussing the topic with them, or in extreme cases, evaluate the relationship. Surround yourself with people who help you be your best self.
Accountability. How will you hold yourself accountable for your goals? This is one of the reasons I love our belt system. All the colored belts we use in Taekwondo are not truly necessary. But it does give me, as the instructor, a regular opportunity to hold students accountable for progress. If students are not practicing consistently, it shows! In all our goals, we need someone or something to help hold us accountable: an instructor, an accountability buddy, a scheduled post to report on our progress, etc.
I encourage you not to set goals that you're just going to throw out a few weeks later. Giving up on goals is not productive, and can negatively impact your mental health. If you genuinely don't think you can achieve your goal, then don't set it in the first place.
For the goals that are truly important to you, I strongly encourage you to utilize the tools that I have outlined. Find the things that work for you, and keep pushing yourself. When you achieve something that you have truly worked for, you will feel a sense of accomplishment that will stay with you for a long time to come.
If black belt--or 2nd degree, 4th degree, 8th degree black belt--is your goal, then I encourage you to use these tools to stay on track. If black belt feels too far away to set it as the goal, then find an intermediary step to work toward. Earning your black belt will take a lot of work. But I know that you can do it. I firmly believe that anyone can earn their black belt, as long as they are willing to put in the time and the work to get there. If you keep pushing yourself, you will be incredible!
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